“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”

- Damon Runyon

Hee-hee, Dad's out of town, so here's something educational my friend Kerry sent me for you seekers of knowledge out there:

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes — (READ OUT LOUD FOR FULL EFFECT)

1) That's not right.............................Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive.................Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP..................................Kum Hia

4) Stupid man...................................Dum Gai

5) Small horse..................................Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach......................Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table....................Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift.................Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here.......................Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet.................Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone......................No Pah King

12) Our meeting was rescheduled..................Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight.........................Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile.................Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive..................Yu Stin Ki Pu

I'm baaaack....

Did you miss me? Or did you even realize that I was gone?
Never mind, don't answer that.

Anyway, last Saturday two of my cousins and I took a road trip to Galena, IL. We took our time driving and stopped in Dubuque, Iowa for the first night where we had fun trying to find somewhere to eat. Lindsay was driving and we somehow managed to end up in a little maze of backroads that were mostly one-ways. Oh, it was also really dark. We finally ended up at a Ground Round. Yay, us!

When we got to Galena the next day the first thing we saw was a Walmart. That just seemed wrong to me somehow.

Anyway, we drove down a cute little windy road, checked in to a cute little B&B, and went to check out Main Street. Which was cute.

There were so many shops, even I was almost overwhelmed, but not quite.
Main St. had three chocolate shops, and one candy shop which also carried chocolate. We visited all of these at least 3 times. I bought some truffles for myself and my parents, and I got Tiger Lilly some Oreo Bark. She was happy. Souvenir shopping was pretty hard when it came to guys, though. Galena is very girly.

We ate lunch one day at Vinny's Italian Bistro, and it was really cute. The food was good, too, and there was quite a lot of it. We didn't eat dinner that night.

We took some time just to drive around the cute little neighborhood, and we saw one house that had the top of a church steeple sticking up out of their back yard. It looked kinda weird and I took some pictures of it, so if they turn out I'll post them.

So, in conclusion, Galena is a very cute town, and I ate too much chocolate and spent too much money. Yay, me!

The Barnacle Boys have been bugging me.

So, let's set the record straight, shall we? I'll even start at the beginning. Here we go:

The crud has been going around at my work for practically a month now, and a lot of the ladies I work with have been coming down with it. I swear I had already gotten it back in February, and I wouldn't get it again, but noooo, of course I got it. And it was worse this time.

On Monday I was feeling fine, my throat was just feeling kind of tickly, but as the day went on I began to feel worse. I had to work from six to close. I ended up going home at a quarter to eight.

Tuesday I woke up bright and early at six and spent, like, an hour in the bathroom being violently ill. After that I was so weak I could barely drag myself the three feet back to my bedroom. I spent the rest of the day sleeping and being extremely sore all over. I didn't stand up for fear of falling over.

(By the way, Tiger Lilly is very good at taking care of people when they're sick so you can keep in mind that if she beats you up. If you hurry and get on her good side, she might nurse you back to health.)

Wednesday was a little better. I actually went down the stairs with out falling, and I ate a pieace of toast. That wore me out. Going back up the stairs was scary. I stayed in bed.

Thursday, I actually went to work. I worked with my boss, and we were both sick. She thought it was kind of funny. I could hardly lift dresses to put them away. It was hard to breathe. I went home. We went to Keegan's and kicked butt, the highlight of my day. Ben! Stop making faces at me!

Today I feel better, though this cold is trying to take me down and I'm still sore. But I'm going shopping! Yay!

I'm sorry I didn't post randomness last week, I know you were all sorely disappointed. I hope you weren't too disappointed, though, or I might have to tell you to get a life.

Okay, here's a quote for ya:

"There are three times when I laugh at a joke,
once when I hear it, again when I tell it,
and then when I get it." -Tom Johnson

And in the light of that wisdom, I have a joke for you. Ahem:

What did the hotdog say when he crossed the finish line?*

(Wait for it...)




*For best results, tell this joke at around 2 or 3 a.m.*

Dad, do I get to go to Keegan's now?

I have some big news. Ready? Here goes:

I've got a new cowboy hat. I know! Isn't it exciting? Here are some a pictures of it.



By the way, I am not deathly afraid of graven images. They just make me nervous sometimes.

The beauty school that I went to was supposedly haunted. The story that I heard was that it actually used to be a morgue, and my instructors had occasionally had 'creepy experiences'. The building was pretty old, the beauty school had been there for about 30 years. The upstairs was used for the offices, the classroom, and the lunchroom.

Anyway, one time, just after my class had learned how to foil, my friend Renae and I were upstairs in the classroom practicing with one of the mannequin heads (of which there was a closet-full, talk about freaky).
We were the only ones up there, and we were foiling and talking, but I kept hearing this noise — kind of a soft pounding.

I asked Renae if she heard it, and we listened. We heard it again.
We were a little freaked out, we both knew the stories. I told her that maybe it was a pipe or something.

We decided that it was coming from the closet full of heads.
Of course I was the one that had to go and see.

I walked over to the closet and started to pull open the door, meanwhile I kept hearing the pounding, and was that scratching?

I hadn't gotten the door all the open when out popped my friend Pearl, and Renae and I both screamed as Pearl laughed at us. We started laughing, too.

Then we heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and we told Pearl to hurry and get back in the closet, so she did.

Into the classroom walked my good friend, Kerry. We all talked for a while, and Renae and I told her that we kept hearing this pounding noise and we didn't know what it was. She was getting kind of weirded out when all of a sudden a mannequin head came flying out of the closet!
She screamed and ran out of the room and down the stairs while Pearl, Renae and I yucked it up.

When we went downstairs, we had some 'splainin' to do, but the girls thought it was pretty funny, and Kerry forgave us.