“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”

- Damon Runyon

Des Moines, Iowa - "It was the worst experience of my life," said Cyrus Greenleaf, head of Vegetables Entitled to Respect and Green Equality (VERGE) after he and several other heads of lettuce, as well as several pounds of spinach and green onions, were abruptly tossed from a local grocery store after shoppers and USDA officials became concerned that the group was potentially carrying E.coli bacteria.

Consumers have been on high alert lately following recent news stories and studies linking green vegetables such as lettuce and spinach to E.coli outbreaks. Speaking on behalf of his group, Greenleaf claimed that he and his friends were victims of "veggie-profiling" and that they were being singled out for "traveling while green."

"This is obvious vegetarianism," he said. "The public and the administration gets its undies in a bunch and suddenly it's 'E.coli this' and 'E.coli that.' It's simply easier to blame somebody than to address the root causes. I blame the American culture; people in this country learn to hate green vegetables when they're young and then when they get older you shouldn't be surprised when their prejudice crops up. Green vegetables are peaceful and nutritious; these latest charges are harassment, plain and simple." Greenleaf indicated that the group may seek redress in the courts.

While definite links between vegetables and illnesses such as E.coli, salmonella and hepatitus have been discovered, there is still some uncertainty about the organic nature of the threat, even among government officials. For example, when asked recently whether lettuce or spinach posed a greater threat, incoming chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Silvestre Reyes, said, "I don't know, I have a hard time telling one from the other."

Meanwhile, both the FDA and the USDA encourage consumers to be alert, saying they are the best line of defense against E.coli attacks and other terra-ism. "Not all vegetables have E.coli, but all the latest E.coli carriers have been vegetables," said Brad LeBeouf, a spokesman for the USDA.

Given the prominence of this story I thought this latest development would be all over the media, but I didn't see anything about this on the Fox, CNN or New York Times main web pages. From the Washingon Times:

Probes dismiss imams' racism claim
By Audrey Hudson
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
December 6, 2006

Three parallel investigations into the removal of six imams from a US Airways flight last month have so far concluded that the airline acted properly, that the imams' claims they were merely praying and their eviction was racially inspired are without foundation.

An internal investigation by the airline found that air and ground crews "acted correctly" when they requested that the Muslim men be removed from a Minneapolis-to-Phoenix flight on Nov. 20.

"We believe the ground crew and employees acted correctly and did what they are supposed to do," US Airways spokeswoman Andrea Rader said.

(SNIP)

"We talked with crew members and passengers and those on the ground. We've done what we typically do in a situation where there is a removal or some kind of customer service at issue," Miss Rader said. "We found out the facts are substantially the same, and the imams were detained because of the concerns crew members had based on the behavior they observed, and from reports by the customers."

The Minneapolis airport police department's report on the incident said the imams' behavior warranted their removal. The imams were not accused of breaking any laws.

The Department of Homeland Security's (DHS) Office of Civil Rights and Civil Liberties is reviewing the actions of department members who were involved in the incident.

Secret Service agents questioned the imams, who are accused of making negative comments about President Bush and the Iraq war. Officials of the Transportation Security Administration were involved in screening the imams and their baggage.

"There is no indication there is any inappropriate activity, at least no indication at this time," DHS spokesman Russ Knocke said. "To my knowledge, we are only doing a review, and that is a fairly routine practice with incidents like this."

The Air Carrier Security Committee of the Air Line Pilots Association investigated the incident and said, "The crew's actions were strictly in compliance with procedures and demonstrated overall good judgment in the care and concern for their passengers, fellow crew members, and the company."

"The decisions made by all the parties were made as a result of the behavior of the passengers and not as a result of their ethnicity," the report concluded.

(SNIP)

Mr. Shahin told television reporters that he needed the seat-belt extension because he weighs 280 pounds. However, the police report lists his weight as 201 pounds. Weights listed for the other imams ranged from 170 pounds to 250 pounds.

I can't wait for Imam Shahin's diet book to come out.