“Peace, prosperity, liberty and morals
have an intimate connection.”

- Thomas Jefferson

I hope you all remember a couple months ago when we did a Night Hens about Kevin. Here's part 2:

Kevin Revisited
The sequel to Regarding Kevin.

RM: (referring to the cold coffee) This is good, but I don't find it quite as satisfying as the hot coffee.
TL: I hope that semi-cute guy in the white shirt doesn't think we're stalking him or something, cuz we have to keep an eye on the bikes that just happen to be behind him.
RM: It's funny to watch this guy's facial expressions who's sitting right outside the window. He laughs to himself and yawns a lot.
TL: He must be plotting world domination.
RM: I don't think so. I think he's a terrorist.
TL: World domination. Is he a terrifying terrorist?
RM: He's not too terrifying, he has a purse. Oh, and now he has a waffle with whipped cream and a strawberry on top!
TL: The horror!! The horror!!! It's too much for my delicate sensibilities.
RM: He looks rather self satisfied, though.
My legs are cold. Don't your long jeans get caught in your bike chain?
TL: *shakes head, mouth full of banana chocolate chip muffin* That was delicious.
RM: Cold press coffee is good, but it makes me cold.
TL: Really?
RM: Yeah.
TL: Did you expect anything different?
RM: I didn't know that cold-press coffee was cold coffee. I'm going to the bathroom.
TL: Amazing. That is superbly extraordinary. *plays Solitaire*

RM: Did anything funny happen while I was gone?
TL: Nope.
RM: I think the terrorist is taking a personality quiz.
TL: What makes you think that?
RM: He's scratching his head and writing things -- well, maybe he's just taking a test. There's a piece of paper with questions on it. He writes things down and grins. It's making me a little nervous.
Now he's on the phone with his leader in the Taliban.
He keeps calling people and then writing down answers! He's saying, 'Do you think I'm really like this?' and they say, 'No, you're actually like this.' He's going through a period of self examination. Really intense self examination.
I ate that whole gosh darn muffin. Probably had a thousand calories. It's the last thing I can eat today.
TL: The terrorist influenced you to eat it.
RM: Probably. He wouldn't be nearly as interesting if his back was facing us.
TL: I wonder if he's in league with the ninja cows.
RM: It doesn't look like he's been up close and personal with a cow. Ninja or otherwise. After all, he's got a black leather bag. I don't think the cows would appreciate that.
TL: It must be his cover.
RM: So he's pretending to be something he's not. Ooh! He just took a huge bite of waffle!
TL: He's so dastardly!
RM: Yeah, he looks really dastardly with his purse and the way he has his napkin tucked into his shirt.
TL: He's so uncivilized.
RM: I'd love to know what he's reading.
TL: Probably "World Domination For Dummies".
RM: He's nodding like he's agreeing with whatever it is he's reading. The poor guy.
TL: Why do you say that?
RM: Well, he's the victim of our intense scrutiny and presuppositions.
TL: Whatever he doesn't know won't hurt him.
RM: Unless he reads this post.
TL: He wouldn't know that it's him.
RM: Mr Dark and Curly Haired Man Who Has A Purse And A Fake Fountain Pen. I could take his picture with my phone.
TL: Yeah, like he wouldn't notice that.
RM: *snaps a casual picture while looking like she is adjusting the settings*
TL: Very covert.
RM: He got up and left as soon as I took his picture.
TL: Toldja.
RM: He left his waffle and his paper here. I could grab them both, eat his waffle, and read his paper!
TL: 'Where's my stuff?!?!' *mimes eating waffle secretly*
I just won at Solitaire with 520 points.
RM: He just held the door open for somebody who was coming in. I guess he can't be all bad. Even terrorists can be polite.
TL: 'I'm sorry, but I feel I must terrorize you. Is that alright with you?'
RM: He's in here getting coffee. He left his purse on the table. Tsk tsk.
Wanna try some cold coffee?
TL: Nope.
RM: He's reading his paper and giggling to himself now!
Okay, we should go.

A special Night Hens breakfast: the last outing before the Mall Diva is married. The Hens are at Keys in downtown St. Paul with special guest, the Rooster!

MD: (recounting her last visit to the chiropractor) Dr. Gina went on maternity leave on Tuesday and had her baby Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. Now there’s Dr. Gilmore, a young, good looking chiropractor with an earring. Casii only gets to see him once because she only goes once a month now.

NW: What does Casii need a chiropractor for? She’s such a well adjusted girl.

RM: Not like our daughters.

MD: I’m so excited to go on vacation. Jackie’s driving me crazy.

NW: Is that the only reason?

MD: No.

MD: *Takes a call from Benny, answers:* "8 days." (Brief logistical discussion ensues).

RM: Is he going to start moving stuff into our house today?

MD: Yes.

RM: When he moves a load in, you move a load into storage.

(TV news has something about a person getting a face transplant).

RM: What? . . .Somebody had a face transplant? Who had an extra face?

NW: Obama, he had two of them.

MD: But he’s using them.

RM: When I went and visited the tulips today, another one that I planted this spring is coming up.

NW: Do you talk to the tulips when you visit?

RM: Only the ones I planted. I also go out in the morning and spray the thistles and the grasses with Roundup and discourage them greatly.

MD: So last night at Anna’s house, they finished playing poker, and Anna grabbed the paper and started doing the crossword! So of course, I’m getting all the answers, and Anna’s like, ‘How do you know all this?’ and I said, ‘I told you, we do this all the time, I know all the ‘rules’ of the crossword’.

*waitress comes*

WA: Wow look at this, you bring her *referring to RM* along, and you get clean plates!

RM: Yeah, I just eat whatever they don’t.

TL: *to NW*: Your keyboard is reeeaaally nice. *strokes keys*

NW: Really? It’s mean to me. I think it’s got an attitude.

TL: *happily stroking soft niiiiice keys…*

MD: Lindsay got our bridesmaid dresses yesterday! They weren’t supposed to come until June! She’s also bringing a crinoline…

RM: Dad’s crinoline? You said ‘your crinoline’, and you were looking at Dad…

MD: I said ‘a crinoline’.

NW: Me and crinoline don’t agree.

MD: It would make your kilt look foofier, though.

NW: I don’t need my kilt any foofier. Get me some taffeta, though…

RM: SO, since three of us had dreams about going to Italy, I should talk to my brother David, because they were talking about going to Italy. Did anyone else dream of a specific place? I dreamed of Naples, maybe we’re supposed to go there.

NW: Maybe you dreamed we were just supposed to go to Café di Napoli.

RM: No, yuck. I’ve been there.

NW: I just wanted to consider the possibility of the least expensive interpretation.

TL: If we did that after we went to Spain, would we still get to Barcelona?

RM: Probably not, but I really want to go...

NW: It’s beautiful, up by the coast…

MD: Lots of beaches… Nude beaches?

RM: We’ll stay away from those.

TL: Aww… I mean *clears throat* good!

RM: o.O.O.O.o.

*Leaving Keys, RM buys MD a small pin that says "Blushing Bride."*

MD: I don't blush that much, I don't have that great a circulation. Benny blushes a lot, though.

RM: What do you say that makes him blush?

MD: I don't really say anything. I just notice every now and then that he's blushing.

RM: Why isn't there a blushing groom pin?

TL: It shouldn't be a blushing groom, it should be a ... never mind.

RM: I don't know what you're thinking, but stop it.

NW: I don't know what you're thinking, but you're grounded.