http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/ Illuminating fun, faith, family and foolishness. en-us 2008-09-26T21:09+00:00 http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1222459876.shtml The Nighthens attempt to bailout the Nightwriter who is defaulting on blogging for more serious pursuits.... The Night Hens 2008-09-26T20:09+00:00
Before leaving the house for coffee:

MD: Mom, are you drinking coffee?
RM: Yes, I have some coffee on Friday before we leave.
MD: Then you have another cup later?
RM: I regularly have two cups of coffee in the morning. It's not like I can't stop anytime.

Here we are at Moose and Sadie's, downtown Mpls. having coffee and other things, which are delicious. It's lovely sitting outside on the deck, watching the world go by.
MD: I can't believe it, you're eating like a European.
RM: Eating with the fork in her left hand and and pushing it around with the knife in her right?
MD: Yeah.

MD: Mom, It's less than eight months til I get married. Isn't that amazing? This time last year I thought it was going to be 4 years.

TL: I was practicing the dance moves last night.
RM: The christmas program dance moves?
MD: Yeah. I'm so bored with everything I come up with for dance moves.
TL: You need to do lots of spins and kicks.
MD: That's what we always do. And lots of crazy arm-waving.
TL: That's because its cool! And when I do the dance moves, then my hair flies in my face.
MD: So you just do dance moves because it makes your hair look cool?

MD: Mom it's your birthday on Monday.
TL: Holy cow, it is.
TL and MD in unison: What do you want for your birthday?
TL: You might get 80 degrees for your birthday. Heck, that would be great for my birthday. But I had to born in Feb.

A strange man approaches: Are you all going to be here a few minutes? Could you make sure no one walks off with my laptop, I have to go plug the meter.
RM: Sure.
MD to TL: You should be in position to chase after anyone who takes his laptop.
RM: Yeah, you can do that head/neck separation thingy.

MD: We need something exciting to happen around here.
TL mumbles.
RM: Someone to raise our taxes?
TL: No someone to attack us.
MD: Attack us, raise our taxes. They're not much different.

TL: Look there's an airline pilot over there.
MD: Maybe he's a stewardess and not a pilot.
Hey, look at that. It's like a poop sign, except it says stop!

MD: Did you hear me give Kevi my verbal 'save the date' last night?
TL: Doesn't he want to come to the wedding?
MD: He usually goes camping with a bunch of his hunting dude buddies on Memorial weekend. But he told me he'd try to make it. I said I would hang onto that.
RM: It would really ruin it if Kevi weren't there.

TL bothers MD, like she's going to poke her in the nose.
MD: Get away from me you crazy argonaut!!!
TL: Hey don't sneeze on my notebook.
It's like a blank page, except it has 'snot' on it.

MD: That guy has a transformer's messenger bag. That is so cool.
TL: I wonder what it turns into. (High pitched voice): Optimus Prime, I knew you were real. They all laughed at me, they didn't believe me and they put me into the fun house.
I mean funny farm. But I knew you were real! I'll show them! Let's go tear up this stupid, un-believing city! Shun the non-believer! Shhhuuuuuuunnnnnnaaa!

We'd better get her home. Bye.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1217618222.shtml So the Hens are in Minneapolis this morning, sitting on the patio outside Panera Bread. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the vehicles are LOUD, pretty much drowning... Night Hens 2008-08-01T19:08+00:00
MD and TL go inside and order while RM saves a table outside, though there is hardly a rush of people to claim them, as its 10 o' clock. Yes, a.m.

The guy behind the counter (codename: Eric) is very personable. TL orders a frozen lemonade, which, apparently, is a lemonade slushy.
Eric: Do you want whipped cream on that?
TL: Yep.
MD: Whipped cream????
TL:Yeah, it's good!
Eric: She knows what she's talking about.
MD: I don't think it sounds gross, I'm just jealous!
Eric asks MD iff she wants whipped cream.
MD: But I'm just getting a regular coffee.
Eric: I know.
MD: Sure!
Eric makes another frozen lemonade and hands it to MD. "Now you don't have to be jealous."
MD: Thanks!

So now we're all outside, feeding the birds (or at least, TL is. Just call her the bird lady.). A kid rides up on his bycycle, parks it and chains it to a lamppost. I can tell that he works at Panera. He goes inside.
MD: Nice apron!

RM: goes inside to go to the powder room and grab a sample out of the sample case to feed to the birds. They were using the almonds from my pastry, but those are gone. Their favorite bird is a little one-legged black-capped chickadee (codename: That Little Parapolegic Bird)
MD: Do they like frosting?
TL:: I think that its probably not good for them. I'm feeding them cinnamon bread. Do you want a bite
RM: No! she doesn't need that! Think of the bird.
MD: Oh, nice.

MD: I'm engaged!
RM: Ok, one week and I want that to stop.
MD: And then in about 5 months I'll just say it out of the blue.

A big truck rolls by and makes a very unladylike noise.
RM:That thing farted!
More funny noises are heard, but this time from our table.
MD: What happened?
RM: TL blubbered lemonade all over my arm.
TL: It's not called blubbering, it's called bubbling! Blubbering is crying.
RM: She burbled it.

TL: So we found out who Doomtree is. (Referring to the paper- entertainment section) One of the guys names is Turbo Nemesis.
RM: Do you think that's his real name?
TL: No.

RM: You know, we keep hanging out here, and I keep expecting to see Jesus, but he hasn't come back.
MD: Like as in: the second coming?
TL: The second coming to Panera.
RM giggles.

TL wonders why people randomly wear dresses instead of pants and shirts.
RM: Didn't you see dad's post about men in skirts?
TL: What about it?
RM: Well, I guess it didn't really explain why, just that they do.
TL: But not in this country.
RM: Well, maybe in New York. Or Paduka, Idaho.
MD laughs.
RM: Is Paduka in Idaho?
MD: I think its in Kentucky.
RM: Ok, I drank too much of that lemonade thing, and now I've got a sugar high. There's a cute car!

RM: So what's going to happen after you get married, are you going to snub us?
MD, laughing: Yup.
TL: NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo.....
RM: What's wrong with you?
TL: Can I borrow some of that?
RM: My lipstick?
TL: Yep.
RM: MD, TL want's to borrow some of your lipstick.
MD: Get your own.

RM: So one day are we going to go to McDonald's to get cappuccinos?
MD: Nope.

TL: So, if MD snubs us after she gets married, it'll just be me and you. Like it was when she was in beauty school.
RM: Oh, yeah. Did we miss her?
MD: yep.
TL:Only in her mind.
RM: Yeah, in her little fevered imagination.
TL: We could kidnap her.

RM: What should we do today? Go test drive motorcycles?
TL: We should go shopping.

.....

RM: we need to get into our car before we get ticketed.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1214584138.shtml The Night Hens are out for coffee at La Patisserie on Randolph Ave. in St. Paul.... Night Hens 2008-06-27T16:06+00:00 The baked goods are yummy. The coffee is mediocre.

TL: Look, fishnet.
RM: That's chicken wire.
MD: There's a big difference between fishnet and chicken wire. Have you ever heard of chicken wire stockings?

TL: Look, a pair of flip flops.

TL: Since you each had a bite of my hard roll that means I get a bite of both of yours.
MD hands over a piece of cinnamon roll.
TL: See, she gives willingly. You take but you don't give back.
MD: She gave you life.
TL: I didn't ask for it.
TL: There's a book over there called "God knows You're Stressed". It's like "Elmo watches you when you sleep". It's like "They Found Nemo". Yeah, his head was sticking out of a piece of Sushi.

TL: Life would be boring if there were no crazy people.
MD: It would be a lot calmer.

TL: I hate it when the red haired clowns come up to me and say "You must be a relative, you have red hair." And I'm like: (she leans away with a horrified look on her face), and if you come any closer I'll spray you with pepper spray."
TL: Sort of like, 'You wouldn't be caught dead in my shoes!'
MD: Oh, yeah, 'You don't want to wear my shoes. You don't like my shoes! You wouldn't be caught dead in my shoes!!!' *Said with rising impatience*
RM: Um...what?
TL: I said that yesterday when Faith and I were going for a walk.
RM: I'm confused.

MD: I need to practice my singing.
RM: Practice right now.
MD: Not here. I need my piano.
TL: You just need to practice singing in the privacy of your own home.
MD: Until I sing opera.
RM: So, you really are going to be a Diva?
MD: I've always been a Diva.
RM: You know, I knew you when you were really young.

TL: You know, without my input this whole thing would be so boring.
MD: It would be so much funnier, just on a different level.

Join us at some future time when TL says "Look, a giant chicken."]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1210349353.shtml The Nighthens are out for coffee at Cupcake on University W. in Minneapolis.... The Night Hens 2008-05-09T16:05+00:00 The coffee is a little bitter, and could be smoother, but its drinkable. According to TL the hot chocolate is watery.
RM: How's your cupcake?
TL: It's nutty and coconutty.
MD I think I want some of those baby cakes.
TL: Hmmmmm. One out of four stars for Speedracer.
MD: All that movie is is special effects.
TL: Well, yeah, but the only reason Angelina and I want to see it is because there is a cute guy with white hair in it. She and I have a thing for cute guys with white hair.

RM: I like that distressed wall. Maybe I should distress the front entry that way.
TL: You just like distressed walls. "Oh, I like that wall, its distressed." You're kind of sick that way.

RM (referring to pastries): This is too rich, I cant eat it all.
MD: Oooo, I'll have another bite.
MD: I want to try every single cupcake.
(going off on a completely different tangent) Actually, I think I'm the best typer.
RM: Of course, we all think we're the best typer, but I'm the only one who actually knows how to type.
MD: Oh, and the rest of us are just banging with our elbows.
TL: Yeah, are we just monkeys with typewriters?
RM: Basically

RM leaves for bathroom.
TL: steals computer.
RM comes back from bathroom
RM: Hey! Give that back!
TL: No!

MD: They don't like our kind here.
RM: Who doesn't like us?
MD: The servers and everyone.
RM: You can tell?
MD: Yeah, by the merchandise.

RM: Tell us about Molly.
MD: Um, yesterday I was telling one of my clients about Benny and how we were going to get married in about 2 1/2 years when he gets done with school. And Molly was saying how I was going to be a pastor's wife and have my little church cookbook and be on Oprah with it. And I told Molly how I want to be a rock star and she said they would have me sing and everyone would be screaming. And then Louise, my client said "You can sing? You can come and sing a song at my funeral." And I asked her how she would be able to enjoy it.

TL: I need money for a swimsuit.
MD: Well, if you'd do your job Mom would pay you for it.
TL: I need the chemical.
MD: Mom, you're not providing her with the chemical? What kind of enabler are you?

TL: Can you imagine someone walking into a room and saying, 'it smells like a laptop in here?'
RM: No, I can't actually imagine that.

MD: Even though, I'm only doing updos today I still wish I didn't have to go to work. It just puts a big wrinkle in my day.
TL: Are you getting points?
MD: Yup, I'm getting 8 points today.
TL: Are you beating Molly?
MD: Yup, beating her like a rented mule.

MD: Look at my long nail, look at my other one. Look at my worst one.
RM: Aaaaaaah!
TL: Look at my long nails. I'm beating you.
MD: Are you beating me like a redheaded stepchild?
TL: Yeah.

TL: So far there's been no need for my knife.
RM: You're just waiting for someone to walk up and attack you so that you can knife them?
TL: Yeah, but you know I'd only use the flat of the blade.Thankfully my knife matches my shirt. It's a grave thing when your knife doesn't match your shirt.
RM: I don't think the world is violent enough for you.
TL: Alas, I fear I shall never reach my violence quota.

RM: Oh my God. Look at that torso hanging from the ceiling.
TL: I saw that. It looks like a Halloween decoration. Why do all the scary words start with M? Macabre, morose.
RM: How about Mom?
MD: Morose isn't scary.
TL: What's it mean?
RM: Sad.

RM grabs newspaper, unaware of cup sitting on top of it. Cup falls over. Hot chocolate spills out on MD's purse
MD: Shi...Mom!
RM: Oops.
Much hastened evacuation of the purse's contents.
MD: Okay, time to go so I can wash my purse.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1206733016.shtml At the Harvest Moon Coffee House on Mtka. Blvd. in Mpls... The NightHens 2008-03-28T19:03+00:00 Info:
Coffee: Good, not as good as Black Sheep
Pastries: WONDERFUL!!!!
4 out of 5 stars.

Skinny girl walks by.
TL: That girl is tiny.
RM: She looks like she's 6.
TL: A very tiny 6 year old.
MD: That girl who just walked by? She's not 6.
RM: I was actually joking.

TL: Can I have a bite of your cinnamin roll?
RM: No. There's not enough.
TL: You know how much you ate last night?
RM: I ate half of a dinner. I also walked 7 miles.
TL: I'll give you a bite of my banana choclate muffin.
RM: It's too good. How 'bout if I take the bite, and if I think it's worth a bite of this, I'll give a bite to you.
TL concedes.
RM: Mmmm... All right, fine. *tears off a tiny bite*.
TL: splits puny bite with MD
MD: Thanks!
RM: You're so nice.
TL: I know.

RM: Can I have a sip of your mango smoothie?
TL: No. It's too good.
RM: I paid for it.
TL: takes mango smoothie and sucks on it endlessly.
MD: *laughs*
RM: *sighs*
TL finally hands over smoothie.

MD: Mom, did you see Hannah's braces?
RM: Hannah who?
MD: Hannah Gullickson. (With a roll of the eyes.)
RM: We know 16 Hannahs, I'm supposed to know which one you're talking about.
MD: She's so sad, she can't chew gum anymore.
RM: Did she chew gum a lot?
MD: She did the last two weeks before she got her braces on. If she wasn't addicted already, that was a good way to become addicted, and then she had to stop cold turkey!

TL: C'mon! We have to think of something really funny and witty to say!
RM: Yeah.

MD: So Jackie had like 13 of her girlfriends go to Florida with her for her birthday last year.
RM: Wow, 13? I don't know if I could list 13 women I would consider my girlfriends. (Starts making a list and gets up to 9).
MD:...I think that Princess Flickerfeather and Anna are my closest girlfriends...The Queen of Inver Grove Heights, Anna, Ruth, PFF,...Julie, definitely....
TL: Yeah, I've got maybe 5... Angelina, Hannah, Hannah Gullickson, Jessica, Haylee....

TL: So, we're going to Oppitz Outlet for $10 prom dresses! I'm excited.
RM: You just bought a dress.
TL: You can never have enough dresses, Mom. You never know when you might need them.
RM: Yeah, some guy might call you up and say, 'Hey, tonight, formal party! Bring your prom desses!'"
TL: That'd be the day.

Fin]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1198860789.shtml The NightHens are out for coffee at Overflow Espresso Coffee Cafe on University Ave. in St. Paul. We have with us a Mystery Guest (MG). Dun Dun Dunnnnnn.... The Reverend Mother 2007-12-28T16:12+00:00
RM: Ooooooh this tastes penuche-like.
MG: I don't know about anyone else, but for me that was really ambiguous. It's like saying "that tastes really glodfarbian".

TL: So, "Mr. X." Now people will think it's one of mom's exes.
RM: They don't know I have exes. Besides, everyone has exes, except Mall Diva and you.
TL: Well I have one, remember in first grade?
RM: You were in love with that Merker kid. You wanted to marry him.
MD: Yeah, Charlie Merker. He had red hair.

MD: Do all your exes live in Texas?
RM: No, I think they all live here in the Twin Cities.
TL: Nice.

MD: I know, you can talk about what it takes to become a mystery guest on our blog.
You have to buy us all coffee.

MG: Let me say something.



RM: So, are you going to say something, or what?
MG: I'm just waiting for you to finish all your mollycoddling.
MD: Now everyone's going to know who he is.
RM: Well, at least his parents will.

MG: So, anyway, I've been contrigued for months about this Night-Hens thing and I thought buying coffee would be a small price to pay. Plus I wanted to see who was doing the typing.

TL: Do you want me to type now?
RM: No.
TL: Well then, can I drool on your roll?
RM: No, but you can have a bite of it if that's what will stop you.
MG: I think you won't want to eat that, she's been drooling on it for a few minutes now. There's a large pool of...stuff...right on top of the penuche frosting.
RM: See, you knew it was the frosting.
MD: Mmm, extra frothy...

MG: (Staring into his coffee cup.) Ahhh yes, as I look into it's umbery goodness.
RM: Umber is kind of a gold color. Can you tell the future if you look deep into your coffee?
MG: Uh, yes.

TL: Stay tuned for next week when the Night-Hens go to a strip club.

RM: Lets see if we can make the mystery guest cry.
MD: Nope, that's all the time we have for today.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1197046209.shtml The NightHens are at home, but preparing to go to coffee with RM's sister and her daughter, Miss Inver Grove Heights.... The NightHens 2007-12-07T16:12+00:00 RM: We'll call them Her Majesty The Queen and what'll we call Sandi?
Sandi: I'm the Queen Mother.
RM: You can't be. That sounds like you were once the queen.
Sandi: Well I'm the queen's mother. I can be the queen mother.
RM: Hey we're all about accuracy here.
NW: Yeah, that's why we use aliases.

The NightHens are out for coffee at the Boiler Room in the Union Depot downtown St. Paul. Joining us are The Queen (TQ ) and the queen's mother (QM).


QM: That's not a cookie, that's a plate.
MD: It's as big as my face, I'm going to eat it. I had three cookies for dinner last night. Mom, is your necklace on backwards?
RM checks her necklace and switches it around.
MD: That is so gauche.
RM: Are you on a diet Lindsay?
TQ: No, I just don't care for coffee cake.
TL: You're weird.
TQ: I can't believe I was born into this family.
MD: Yeah, how did that happen? Well, . . . . Sandi and Ken loved each other very much . . . .
RM: That's enough.
A bunch of off the record conversation.

By the way Nicole is our barista today and is listening in to our conversation.


RM: You have way more coffee cake there than you need.
MD: Nuh-uh, I only have half.
RM: Who ate the other half?
MD:uhhm.. what shall we talk about?

TQ: Let's talk about how I turned 20 years old!
TL: You're old. Embrace old age!
TQ: I need a hip replacement.
QM: You're 20 and you need a hip replacement?
TQ: Yeah, I'll be racing the old ladies at the nursing home with my walker!

TQ: Did you write about how I need a hip replacement?
MD nods.
TQ: Well, let me read it!
MD: Oh, you'll be able to read it, and so will everyone else!
TQ: Oh great! I am never coming here again!
RM: It's not the place, its the company.

TL: It tastes shiny.
QM: It tastes shiny. What tastes shiny?
TL holds up the camera.
QM: You licked it.
MD: Well, no one's taking pictures with it.
QM: You don't know where that's been.

MD: Nicole, will you take our picture?
Nicole: For sure.
TL: And then can we take yours as our barista?
QM: Yeah, do you want to be famous?
Nicole: It's bound to happen sooner or later.
QM: Oooooh, good answer.
MD: You're just working here till they discover you, anyways.

RM: The queen can sit here.
TQ: Yeah, if I can squeeze my big queen butt in there.
RM is typing and TL keeps giving her "advice".
MD (to TL) : Maybe you should go take a turn about the room, you're annoying your mother.
TL stares evil at MD. MD seems unphased.

RM: She (TL) just likes to make up new words.
TL: Oh yeah, like rebellity and literalistic.
MD: And perspicacity. What does perspicacity mean? It sounds like perspiration.
RM: It means keen insight.
MD: Oh yeah, Dan Stover is just the picture of perspicacity.
RM: Don't be mean.
MD: I'm not!
QM: Faith is showing her rebellity.

TL: Look mom, a napkin in a bottle.
RM: You should have written a note on it.
TL: Okay!
QM: What does it say? 'Help! A mad scientist is trying to turn me into a little person'? And then the writing gets smaller and smaller.
TL: Okay.


A man walks up and asks if anyone has change.
RM: (about MD) She has change.
MD gets out her wad and makes change for the guy.
MD: I am everyone's personal bank today. Just call me ATM!
Nicole: But you're better because your friendly and you don't charge a two dollar fee.
MD: And I'm cuter too.
TL: Okay, can I have 20 bucks?
MD: No, you can't withdraw, you can only exchange. And you can deposit if you want to.

RM: Our meter is out. Let's get out of here.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1196470755.shtml The Reverend Mother (RM), Mall Diva (MD) and Tiger Lilly (TL) are live-blogging another out-for-coffee expedition.... The Reverend Mother 2007-12-01T02:12+00:00 The Reverend Mother (RM), Mall Diva (MD) and Tiger Lilly (TL) are live-blogging another out-for-coffee expedition.

In the car:
MD: You're cute, Patience.
TL: Thanks, you're cute, too.
RM gazes at her daughter in the rear view mirror (menacingly, according to TL)
TL: Oh, okay, mom, you're cute, too.
RM: Thanks.

At Panera in Eagan:
MD: Is it yummy?
RM nods.
RM: What's in that bag?
MD: That pineapple thing.
MD: I love lemon poppyseed bundt cake. I hope I don't have a drug test this afternoon.
RM: The bump, I mean bundt, cake isn't as good as the pumpkin muffie.
RM: That guy behind you is on his laptop while his wife knits.
MD: Yep, that'll be me and my husband someday.
RM: He'll be knitting?
MD: Totally! I can't knit.
TL: Argh! I'm having thumb cramps again! I almost killed a man with this thumb!
RM: You have crumbs all over you. You're crummy!
TL: Thanks, mom.
RM: I woke up in a bad mood this morning...
TL: You woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
RM: No, I woke up on the right side of the bed.
MD: Nuh-uh! You woke up on the left side of the bed!
TL: So what happened when you got up on the wrong side of the bed?
RM: That's what I need you guys to help me remember. What do you think I had you for?
TL: I don't know! I was under the impression that you didn't want us! ...So, are you out of your bad mood yet?
RM: He** no, leave me alone!
MD & TL: *Gaaaasp!!!!*
MD: I need another cup of coffee.
RM: I need another pair of blue jeans.
TL: I need a video camera.
RM: I don't think a video camera is a need.
TL: Yeah it is!
RM: It's a luxury.
MD: My need is the most easily fulfilled.
RM: Coffee?
MD nods
TL: Not after I break your cup.
MD: That would be stupid.
TL: I think a scar in the eyebrow is the most dashing kind of scar.
RM: Where did that word "dashing" come from? It must be 'cuz they dash about town.

The conversation deteriorates to ladies' men and hunter-gatherers and how they differ...

MD goes to get more coffee. When she comes back RM and TL are giggling uncontrollably.

MD: What are you laughing at? I don't trust you.
RM reading what had been written.
RM: This is so dumb!
RM: You know, I don't feel like Christmas shopping this year, you guys.
MD: So? It doesn't matter how you feel!
TL: Coal for you, Faith!
RM: Yeah...that coal is starting to look better and better!
MD: Noooo!
TL: Well, you get enough of it and you can make diamonds! Take a 10,000 lb weight and crush the coal with it!
RM: No, I don't think that's how diamonds are made. I think they just made that up because of a lack of information. I believe that God made all the diamonds and put them where they are.
TL: In rings?
RM: No!! In the ground!
RM is looking at a hair that was stuck to TL.
RM: Where did this come from? Its not one of yours! It's black!
TL: Don't you remember when MD dyed my hair black?
RM: Well, when was that? It has to have been 2 years, it's all grown out.
MD: Yup, it was when I was in beauty school. '05. Two years.
TL: Wow. Faith is gettin' old.
RM: Yeah! She's going to be 20!
TL looks horrified.
TL: She's going to have wrinkles!
TL: So how's that bad mood coming along?
RM: What?
TL: That bad mood.
RM gazes into the middle distance.
MD: I wanted to tell you something. This won't be interesting to people.
[.....
.....
.....]

RM laughs

[Crashing sound in the kitchen.]

TL: That wasn't very much of a crash. That was more of a clang.
MD: A crash is more like something broke.
TL: Like if I dropped your cup. I have this vendetta aginst your coffee cup, I don't know why.
MD: Maybe my cup has a vendetta against you. You better watch your butt, man.
TL: Dude! There is no way a guy can watch his own butt.
(What movie is that from?)

RM: So, what do you want for Christmas?
MD: Shoes! And purses! And diamonds are a girl's best friend!!!
RM: Tell me things that are less than 30 dollars.
Silence ensues.

END
]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1193439805.shtml Here are the Night-hens, sort of live blogging at Panera in SE Mpls., while having coffee.... The Reverend Mother 2007-10-26T23:10+00:00 MD: Instead of raisins, this should have currants in it.
TL: It should have chocolate chips.
TL: Why does my back always hurt?
MD: Because you kick people all night.
TL: I don't kick people all night.
MD: Then you kick them for two hours.
TL: I didn't kick people for two hours.
MD: Then you slapped, or punched, or whacked them with your bow staff when you're not kicking them.
TL: And it's only for an hour.
TL: Mom it's b-o, not bow.
MD: Ha Ha your staff has BO.
TL: Handy, isn't it?
TL: The Toga party was fun. (Referencing an event at the Nightwriter's work, yesterday)
MD: Did you have to wear a toga? I don't have a toga, I'm over-dressed.
TL: I saw a whole bunch of ladies walking past wearing togas and I said "What's with all the togas?" and they said, "Oh, were having a toga party, feel free to come over." Then I went, and chugged apple cider.
TL: There was a ring toss there with all the bottles stacked right next to each other and a sign that said 'Spin the Bottle' and I gasped. And then I saw a sign underneath it that said '(Just Kidding), Ring Toss'. There was a parade with a bunch of cross-dressing, ugly, old guys. Because the woman they chose as home-coming queen didn't want to do it, so they chose the next best person and it was a guy. The homecoming queen was wearing a white frilly dress and had a cigar in his mouth. He also had a mustache.
Hey, There goes the gym shorts and loafers guy.
MD: He's just wandering around.
RM: He's loafing.
TL: Go commando with confidence.
RM: Why did you say that?
MD: She's just into that kind of thing. Tell us, how does it feel?
TL: (With hand raised) It feels, it feels . . . . sigh.



A woman walking by whispers in RMs ear.
RM: (to lady) Well, thank you, bless your heart.
TL: What did she say?
RM: She said "You're a very attractive lady."
TL: You know this picture is going to ruin any credibility I have on the internet.
MD: You think you have credibility?
TL gives MD the evil eye.
RM: Oh, we need to go.
MD: Barnacles.
MD: That ends this session of whatever this is.]]> http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1184378084.shtml Co-blogging: Reverend Mother and Mall Diva... Mall Diva 2007-07-14T01:07+00:00
Setting: Panera Bread in MPLS

MD: Mmmm! These are like muffin cookies!
RM: Yeah, but not like meat cookies.
MD: The lightbulb goes on...That must be why they're called "Muffies"!
RM: So what are we going to talk about? Steals some of MD's Carrot Walnut Mini Bundt cake.
MD: Hey! Mine!
RM: Why are you eating all this? Aren't you looking too good in your fat jeans? Are you writing this down?
MD: I don't need to worry about that if you're eating all my food.
RM: You could do what that guy is doing- Stand on the corner and jog in place.
MD: I'm wearing the wrong shoes. Takes a bite of RM's Pumpkin Muffie...
RM: Hey!
MD: You offered it to me.
RM: Oooh, there's a cool looking dude.
MD: Gags. He's wearing a tye-dye shirt that doesn't even meet his pants!
RM pokes MD and points out the window at a VW Bug
MD: Ooh! It's a convertible! Look at the guy driving-
RM: Yeah, in his white shirt and black tie. I bet if you went out there and batted your eyelashes at him, he'd give you a ride.
MD: Most guys that drive Bugs are gay. If I went out there and batted my eyelashes at him, he'd probably throw up.
RM: Not all guys are. I think your father should get one and throw off the whole paradigm. Pokes MD again.
MD: Can you imagine dad driving a Bug?
RM thinks for a second and bursts out laughing: No!
MD: This cake is so good.
RM: It's somewhat good.
MD: Better than yours.
RM: Not better than the Pumpkin Muffie.
MD: Well I like it better.
RM: I'm thinking about trying oatmeal.
MD: Trying oatmeal? Haven't you had oatmeal before?
RM: Not since I was under 5. Oh, I remember one time I was at an aunt's house and she served it for breakfast, and I ate it until someone mentioned that I didn't like it.
MD: So it sounds like you stopped eating it because someone said you didn't like it. The power of suggestion.
RM: No, when my Aunt found out I didn't like it, she said I could have something else. I don't remember what I had, though. Maybe Bourbon.
MD: What, vermin?
RM: No! Bourbon.
MD: Oh. For breakfast?
RM: I haven't had oatmeal since I was very young and I've never had Bourbon.
MD: Well it's not too late to start.
RM laughs.
RM: Look! A truck full of motorcycles!
MD: Cool! Snugglebug! There's a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I wonder if he's going to the MOB party tomorrow?
RM: He probably won't be wearing it until then. Pokes MD. Look! There's Surdyk's cheese shop! We could go get some double Gloucester!
MD: Or some liquor.
RM: Is that a guy? He's wearing a dress! He's doing his Jesus imitation. He needs an intervention.
MD: He's drinking out of a mason jar.
MD: I think it's Health Inspector day. You know, we're way funnier when Tiger Lilly isn't around.
RM nods.
RM: I want a motorcycle. That girl has one. Let's go test drive some motorcycles today.
MD: Ok. Can you test drive a motorcycle if you don't have a motorcycle license?
RM: No, you can't! You'll have to ride behind me. Dad bought a flat screen TV. I should be able to buy a motorcycle.
MD: Do you know how hard it is to type "motorcycle" over and over?
RM: You need to cut and paste.

End.]]>