Me: The Night Writer, John Stewart; 50 years old and smart enough to have married my trophy wife first.
[The Night Writer,
July 12, 2008]
"The Great Hair-coloring Massacree"
Sometimes you'll do something that, even as you are doing it, you just know isn't a good idea. But you do it anyway.
Case in point: I came in the house unexpectedly today and my wife was in the downstairs bathroom, and there was this strong smell coming from in there. Now, right away, you're saying, "Uh, don't go there," but what you need to know is that she was wearing rubber gloves at the time. You also need to know that there are only two things she does in the bathroom that involve rubber gloves.
One is cleaning the bathroom, which usually involves strong and odorifous chemicals but this wasn't bathroom cleaning day.
The second thing is to, um, refresh her hair color.
I walked closer and said, "Mmmm, smells colorful." She looked a little disappointed that perhaps a tiny bit of The Mystery had departed. She did suggest, however, that if I could only learn to apply this elixir of youth it would be a big help in refreshing the tresses on the back of her head.
I recalled the long and expensive training and certification process the Mall Diva went through in order to be licensed to do that very thing, and said, "I don't think that's legal."
"Oh, it's no big deal," she said, "you can have Faith (the Diva) show you how."
"Sure," I said, "it's no big deal for you, but what about for me?" as I remembered an old story by Arlo Guthrie. "I mean, I really don't want to be sitting in jail and having some big guy say, 'What are you in for?' and me having to say ...
'Hairdressing.'"
Okay, that didn't get me into too much trouble. Blogging about it on the other hand....
Case in point: I came in the house unexpectedly today and my wife was in the downstairs bathroom, and there was this strong smell coming from in there. Now, right away, you're saying, "Uh, don't go there," but what you need to know is that she was wearing rubber gloves at the time. You also need to know that there are only two things she does in the bathroom that involve rubber gloves.
One is cleaning the bathroom, which usually involves strong and odorifous chemicals but this wasn't bathroom cleaning day.
The second thing is to, um, refresh her hair color.
I walked closer and said, "Mmmm, smells colorful." She looked a little disappointed that perhaps a tiny bit of The Mystery had departed. She did suggest, however, that if I could only learn to apply this elixir of youth it would be a big help in refreshing the tresses on the back of her head.
I recalled the long and expensive training and certification process the Mall Diva went through in order to be licensed to do that very thing, and said, "I don't think that's legal."
"Oh, it's no big deal," she said, "you can have Faith (the Diva) show you how."
"Sure," I said, "it's no big deal for you, but what about for me?" as I remembered an old story by Arlo Guthrie. "I mean, I really don't want to be sitting in jail and having some big guy say, 'What are you in for?' and me having to say ...
'Hairdressing.'"
Okay, that didn't get me into too much trouble. Blogging about it on the other hand....
"We have a natural right to make use of our pens as of our
tongue, at our peril, risk and hazard." - Voltaire
(link)
Mr. D (www):You had to blog about it, NW. I would have, too.
7.12.2008 7:59pm
(link)
Night Writer (www):So...ok if I come hang out with you for a few days?
7.12.2008 10:37pm
(link)
Bike Bubba (mail) (www):Only if you were creating a nuisance, too, if I remember that song right. (and you and the hairdresser's mom were jumpin' up and down yelling "dye! Dye! dye!" and then that Mall Diva came into the room, pinned a comb on you said "you're my dad" and sent you down the hall for more infections, inspections, neglections, and....)
7.14.2008 2:14pm
(link)
Night Writer (www):Bike Bubba, I don't know whether to move away from on the bench or not for knowing all this, but yes, in fact, the song did include the following:
7.14.2008 4:37pm
(link)
Mall Diva:Kill?
7.14.2008 9:06pm
(link)
Night Writer (www):He was trying to act crazy so the military wouldn't draft him into the army (Viet Nam era). We can talk about it.
7.14.2008 9:18pm
Comments are moderated, but disagreements are welcome. Your comment will be displayed as long as it is not abusive or profane. Hey, my mother reads this blog (I hope)!